Weekend Commando Golf [Woodson Bend]

Oh my, one should not get this sore from golf. Golf should not be this brutal.

I really enjoy a good golf get-away, or a weekend of commando-golf. This year we took off for Woodson Bend Resort. Calling this place a “Resort??? is a stretch of major proportions. A red-neck resort it is, even at that, well, lets just say that’s still a stretch.

The weekend was cheap though, $200 bucks. That included our accommodations and breakfast (at the clubhouse), and 18 holes of golf each day [Friday, Saturday, and Sunday]. We were on our own for lunch, and Dinner. If you planned properly you could easily eat cheap if you brought your own food as the other foursome did. Oh, we also got a sleeve of balls and a hat. The balls were Pinnacles, but that’s OK.

We left bright and early Friday morning (6:30am) from Sharonville and headed south. Our T-Time for Friday was 11am. We took our time getting there, and stopped and got breakfast at an “Awful House??? along the way. We arrived at the Woodson Bend at roughly 10:15 so we still made good time.

We couldn’t check into our unit because the folks who were in there hadn’t checked out. We headed straight to the club house.

About the units. (Sorry, no photos to preserve the owners innocence). Ours was VERY nice, unit 10-4. If you go, look for that one, request it. The one above us, (I would imagine 10-2? Was crap, section-8 like housing, although they had a better Direct TV package and at least they could get the NASCAR race on Saturday. But their unit had all the original 1970s appliances and I’m sure you could stand in front of their microwave and either get, or cure CANCER. It was nasty.

10-4 was a nice place, recently renovated, and had nice furniture, etc. Both overlooked the lake.

Anyway, back to the golf.

Friday started out beautiful. Of course the Starter jinxed it. He said, “We’re going to have beautiful weather all weekend???. About an hour later, it started to rain. Nothing terrible, but a slight drizzle the rest of the day.

The course? It’s a tough course. Tight, with very nice greens. The Fairways though…

I could set my mower on ½ an inch and get a better fairway. Still for what we were paying, who cares.

We played 18, then played another 9 for get this… $6 bucks with a cart. What a deal.

Now during the day we drank all the beer we brought. This quickly became an issue as Woodson Bend and Lake Cumberland sits Squarely in the middle of a dry County. Well, hell, half of KY, is dry. Why? We still don’t understand this.

Not to worry, one of our foursome isn’t coming down until tomorrow, Saturday, so we ring him up and place an order.

For dinner that night we walk up to the resorts, famous restaurant. The Woodson Bend Palisades Restaurant. The service was great, and the food was good. We all had a full rack of ribs. The ribs were good. The sauce wasn’t my favorite but the meat was nice and tender. However. Not being able to have a beer with it really blew. Now. If you’re a resident there you can BYOB and everyone there did. The other problem is, everyone there who’s a resident, it appears is over 75 years old. So it had the ambiance of eating at an old folks home. While trying to be up-scale, it really wasn’t. It kinda weirded me out, but still I was hungry.

We returned to the our humble abode after dinner and watched a little Comedy Central, drank what few Margaritas we had left and waited for our 4th to rescue us. (While also taking bets if he’d show).

We finally got the call that he’d meet us in the morning and turned in for the night.


-Man I was sore.

I don’t know why. I sure was crushing the ball but didn’t really feel like I was swinging all that hard.

But I was sore to say the least.

We met up with our 4th, who, didn’t stop to pick up our alcohol order until he himself was in a DRY COUNTY. @#$%@#$%@$#$#@%@$

We headed into the club house, ordered our breakfast. While waiting we were told to head to the T-Box. Now or wait for breakfast and come back at 4pm and play. Another bright move, we didn’t get there early enough to eat. At least Kris had a few breakfast bars in his bag.

We played 18 and the weather was good.

We had already booked a 2nd T-Time for 2pm. We traded that with another 8-some for 1:30pm and rolled on through after we figured out some quick teams.

The last 18 were a little rougher. But we still had a good time.

That evening instead of eating with the old folks we wandered out to Somerset and found a TumbleWeed. There we had a nice steak dinner. Still no beer, It makes no sense.

That night the other 4-some decided if it was raining in the morning they were heading back.

We watched the end of the NASCAR race in their slum lord unit while they ate, then Dad and I hit the sack.

At 6am this morning it was of course raining at the Resort. But we thought, what the heck, we’re here. We played another 18. After 9 though, my body quit. My score card for the front 9 was:


Then after the turn I couldn’t hit a thing. Nothing off the Tee, it just wasn’t there any more. No more golf for me. I just couldn’t do it.

All in all though it was a well spent $200 plus a couple meals, a few lost quarters gambling and a bunch of beer I DIDN’T GET TO DRINK because it’s a dry county which I’ll never understand.

It’s Dry but it’s not really if you can bring your own. What ever. It’s a pain in the butt is what it is.

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