Jack Handy :)

A daily dose of Jack Handy’s Deep thoughts have been added to the right hand column towards the bottom, enjoy.

Serenity [The Movie]

Tonight I was lucky enough to attend a pre-screening of the movie ‘Serenity’. I had never watched the series, so I was pretty much going in blind and with no expectations. I like Sci-fi so it wasn’t hard to get me to go.

I got tickets (or a ticket) from a co-worker who said he got tickets because of his blog, it’s popular so he was invited. I smelled an Internet scam, but decided to go with him anyway.

We showed up early as we were supposed to to get in line because these were first come, first served tickets, nothing was reserved. Again, I smelled a rat. But I was wrong. We showed up, the pointed us to the line, it was about 6:00pm. We made good time getting to Newport on the Levee. There were others in line, a few that had been waiting since 4pm. Holly molly, no movie is worth that wait if you ask me.

We bailed out of line and grabbed some grub only to find our spot in line a little farther back. Instead of being 8th, we were now 16 or something like that (oh my). No big deal.

But what a freak fest. I don’t know where these people came from. I was afraid a game of DnD might break out there right on the spot. Not that I’m against DnD and other roll playing games, but these folks were special. True movie lovers. All debating how Lucas screwed up Star Wars, and crushed what they believed Star Wars was. How Lord of the Rings was Oh so true to the book except for this and for that and how it should have had this or that and I was with it until this point.

Ladies, your eye shadow should never be the same color and twice as bright as your eyes, if you have green eyes, bright green eye shadow is not for you. And that dead white skin look, what is that? I’m not talking complete Goth stuff here. I know those folks are confused. But half goth, like they weren’t sure. Ladies, walk down a magazine aisle, you won’t see that look on Cosmo, or any of the glamor magazines. Ya know why? Cause it doesn’t look good. You look dead. But maybe you’re trying to look dead and I don’t get it.

There was another interesting character across from us. Willy Wonka, really. I think he must have thought this was the opening and wanted to be in costume.

I’ve been to one other premier in my lifetime and I don’t remember the nuts and freaks coming out like this. This was a Tuesday night after all, 7pm on Tuesday night. Not like a midnight showing on Saturday.

On to the movie.

Excellent!, non stop action. Excellent effects, reasonable story line, and from the audience’s take I suspect true to the series.

It was free for me but even if I’d have paid $9.00 I wouldn’t have been disappointed.

I don’t want to spoil anything so I won’t say much more. Acting was good, jokes a plenty, etc, etc.

Plenty of non-stop action, no language or sex. But I wouldn’t take a kid under say 12 or 13. This isn’t Star Wars. There is no Jar Jar. The bad guys are bad and the action is intense.

The best movie I’ve seen this year hands down.

Lastly, I didn’t appreciate the chatty sci-fi freaks behind us who had memorized the trailers and recited all the scenes and one-liners in the trailers. Those of us there in the movie don’t want to hear about how these people compare to the series, or if this or that is better than that or this. We’re there to watch, so get a make over, then a life, then go to a matinee with the other children please.

Thanks.

Is it snowing in Hell?


The Bengals, yes, the Cincinnati Bengals are 3-0. No, not Thirty, but 3-0. Three Wins, and Zero losses. Unbelievable.

Granted, the beat Cleveland, any high school team can do that. They beat Minnesota, which as it turns out isn’t really very good, and now the Bears, who’s offense is extremely suspect, but has a pretty good defense. Even so, it’s the Bengals we’re talking about here, and I even watched half the game. With my wife in a sports bar! Hows that for hell freezing over? In 16 years of marriage, that’s never happened. Pinch me see if I’m dreaming.

And to top it all off I was finally allowed to replace my decrepit old office chair.

What a bargain:

I’ve been looking at this at Costco for about 8 months now and today was my lucky day. This baby is leather, real leather, and comfy too.

Things you win at golf outings

Today I played in the Countryside YMCA Golf outing as I have done the last couple years.

It’s a great outing for a great cause. The Y is one of the largest if not the largest in the US. The Golf outing benefits their scholarship and learn to swim programs. I know that their two top double-eagle sponsors each donated or were responsible for bringing in over $20k each. But that’s not what I’m hear to write about.

The YMCA is a customer of my fathers company Duplicator Sales Co. so I get to play in his foursome. Every year we play with absolutely no hopes of winning. There are always a couple foursome’s of ringers. But we have a great time. The beer is cold and free.

The Y outing always has a door prize for every participant, and they usually have a few decent raffle prizes too. For a $20 donation you get as many raffle tickets as your arms are long, in my case that was 35.

My door prize was a Tiger Woods wall plaque thing and two free buckets of balls at the Golf Ranch. Something I can use. However my big raffle prize was get this…

A $150 gift certificate for plastic surgery. Or Micro electro-epi-facial-skin peeling or something like that, for me and a friend. Now what the heck am I going to do with that? One year I won a basket of shampoos and hand creams, but I traded that with Bernie for something else. I think golf outings he couldn’t use or something.

Now I’m not against feminine gifts, but there were only 4 women golfers out of 26 foursomes, and it seemed to me there were an awful lot of girly gifts.

I think they need to work on their gift recruitment. We golfers don’t need to bring something home to our wives that bad, and I certainly don’t need to bring her a $150 gift certificate for plastic surgery! That’s a dangerous message there.