Why is it so hard?

Tonight I had to put the girls to bed.

Officially, I had to put Maria to bed first, at 9pm. Remember Maria, the one we’ve been having great success with lately?

Well we started at 9p.m. and I knelt down beside her bed, half laying on it, but she didn’t want me, she wanted one of her sisters. I tried to explain that her sisters weren’t going to sleep at the same time. In fact it hasn’t been that way for almost a week now. She’s been going to bed extremely well. But no, of course, not tonight…

She didn’t want me to lay there. She pushed me off the bed, and was almost mean. We talked about that, then she said, well, if you give me a back rub I might fall asleep.
So I tried that for 15 minutes. Then she asked about her sisters.

Then stupid me, I asked why, “Because I’m scared???. Scared of what? “Mean and horrible things.???

Like what? “I can’t tell you because words of your mouth can make things come true.???


Ok, look, you’re a gymnast who’s 5 going on 6 and you can do the splits, you shouldn’t be scared anymore. I wasn’t scared when I was 5 and I couldn’t do the splits, so really you shouldn’t be scared.

We continued this conversation for another 15 minutes to no avail. I looked at the clock and it was 9:30, time to get the other sisters “Thank Heavens???.

So I brought them in and tucked them in, but when I did Maria wasn’t in bed. I had explained to her when I left “Don’t get out of bed!???

So I reiterated, “Do Not Get Out Of Bed, Again???

“but, what if I have to go potty???? Look, I’m going to be downstairs, if I hear footsteps, I better hear a flush, or else. Do you understand me? “No??? What do you mean no? “I forgot.??? If I hear footsteps, I better hear a flush, or else I will be up here with the spoon of justice is that clear? “No??? No? What do you mean no? “I forgot what you said.???

Molly, what did I say? (she repeated it) Maggie what did I say? (she repeated it) Maria is it clear now? “Uh-uh???, Ok look, repeat after me, and we said it word for word.

Good night girls…

“But what if I, got to the bathroom then go get a drink???? Then that would be a violation and you’ll get to see the spoon. “But what if I’m dying of thirst????

Ok, here’s the deal, I guarantee you, YOU will live until tomorrow without a drink. If not, you get to spank me with the spoon, 5 times. Is that fair? “No, I’ll be dead???, Ok, if you die, then Molly and Maggie get to spank me 5 times each is that fair? No, I’ll still be dead. Then Molly said, don’t worry, we’ll hit him really, really hard. So is that fair I ask? She smiled and said, yeah really hard would be fair.

So far not a peep or footstep, but it shouldn’t be this hard, even though it was kinda fun looking back.

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