Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris Facts

Yep, I’m a Chuck Norris Fan, or well, was. I’ve kind of out grown him I suppose, what is he now 90 years old?  But who isn’t a fan of possibly the worst male actor of all time to have quite a few hit shows?  My kids love him.  My 5 year old wants to be a Texas Ranger when she grows up.

My buddy at work pointed out this site to me today.  It’s hilarious.

Some of the top Chuck Norris Facts include:

  1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
    the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  8. Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK+. A$%-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
  9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.
  10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  11. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  12. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  13. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

There are tons more, 10 pages worth, lots of them extremely funny.  Word of caution though, quite a few use the f-bomb.  But if you’re bored, enjoy.

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