‘When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him. But then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, ‘Well, no wonder you’re a bum, look at the dumb things you bought.’
-Jack Handy
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Tags: dumb_things, jack_handy, quote
It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at the Marine land says, ‘You can’t throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish.’ Sure they eat fish, if that’s all you give them. Man, wise up.
-Jack Handy 
Tags: dolphins, drumsticks, jack_handy, quote
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